Tears and Joy

Last week was going great. I experienced God's presence throughout my week in such amazing ways. I was filled to overflowing with His love and joy. Then it happened, I woke up friday morning filled with such sadness and hurt. Those feeling overwhelmed me throughout the remainder of that day and well into the night. Past memories flooded back into my mind. Fear overwhelmed me and crippled my spirit. Why all of sudden this experience?

We have a choice in our Christian walk to have joy, to have peace. It is not something that is depicted by our circumstances or how we may feel on any given day. God has been showing me that it is a choice no matter how we may be feeling or how circumstances in our lives may look, we can have joy and peace. I have been learning to praise God even when I don't feel like it. As I begin praising Him,my fears being to disappear. My heart becomes filled with love. We are in a daily spiritual battle. The enemy wants to rob us of our joy. He knows that when our joy is taken from us we will no longer desire to praise our Savior. When we stop praising our Savior, we no longer are fulfilling what God has designed us to do.

I praise the Lord that in the most difficult times God is teaching me how to praise Him and how to find joy in some of the most difficult of circumstances!

Living in Fear

"Regret of the past and dread of the future are both thieves of joy." Wow, I read this statement and realized that probably eighty percent of my life I have lived in either regret of the past of dread of the future. So often I look back and I am so saddened by past mistakes, past circumstances and I allow my past to come and rob me of my present joy. As I look to the future I begin to dread that in my future I might repeat the past. I feel this is so easy for many of us to do. I believe this is one of the enemies ways of hindering all the blessings that God intends for us for our future!

I know that this has been such a struggle for me especially recently. I have begun to identify the fear I have allowed myself to walk in for so long. Jesus you have overcome my past. You have cleansed me of all of my sins. You have made me a whole person again and you love me more then to let me stay in lies of the past. I praise you for all that the future holds. By your grace and mercy I will not repeat the past. What a beautiful future lies ahead. Teach me to walk in your joy which overcomes all fear of the past and future!

Psalm 62

Who am I placing my expectation in? What am I placing my hope in? What do I look to for fulfillment? All of these questions hit me this morning as I read in my devotions Psalm 62:5, "My soul, wait thou only upon God, for my expectation is from Him!"

This passage says, "wait only on God". So often in my life I find my self waiting on the next relationship, the next paycheck, the next event to attend...(let's be honest, we all do it)
God had to gently remind me today that I am to wait only upon Him. He will never disappoint me, He will never arrive late or fail my expectations.

Thank you Lord for this reminder. In you alone I place my expectation. I wait on you alone. You alone satisfy and bring fulfillment to this life!

For Ever Changed by Your Love

Here I am humbled by Your Majesty,
Covered by Your grace oh friend.
Here I am knowing I'm a sinful man,
Covered by the blood of the Lamb.
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine,
Since You laid down Your life,
The greatest sacrifice.

Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
Empty handed but alive in Your hands.

Here I am humbled by the love that You give,
Forgiven so that I can forgive.
So here I stand,
Knowing that I am Your desire,
Sanctified by glory and fire.
And now I've found the greatest love of all is mine,
Since You laid down Your life,
The greatest sacrife.

Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
Empty handed but alive in your hands.
Singing Majesty, Majesty.
Forever I am changed by Your love,
In the presence of Your Majesty.
Majesty.

We're singing Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
And I'm nothing but alive in Your hands.
We're singing Majesty, Majesty.
Forever I am changed by Your love,
In the beauty of Your Majesty.
Majesty.

Jesus, thank you for you love! I am nothing without it. In my natural I am such a selfish, empty person. I so often turn to other things to fill up that emptiness within. Seeking love from things that are fleeting. I have found Jesus, that your love is the only love that satisfies. Your love is the only love that sees me for what I am and excepts me that way! Nothing compares to your love, it takes my breath away! Jesus as I behold you, I am changed. In your presence I am singing and transformed by your grace. I will declare you love, because of your love I am forever changed! Thank you Jesus

One of those weeks....

Do you ever have a week that everything seems so disheartening and honestly down right sucks?!? Well that was my week:( Throughout the week, things progressively got more discouraging. I knew the right thing to do was seek the Lord and praise him despite how I was feeling. I began to seek him and praise him but He felt so distant? I kept pressing in and yet still did not feel his presence. I went into Friday knowing I was going to be leading worship that night. I was in no way ready to lead others into worship when I myself was not able to enter into worship! I battled it out with the Lord the whole way to church! I entered into worship striving to sing despite how I felt. As we worshiped, prophetic words were being given. One of the worship leaders turned to me and began to prophecy over me. Right then the presence of God came over me and I felt the depth of his concern and love for me! Even when it doesn't seem like God is there, and it seems like everything is falling apart, God has a way of breaking through all of the doubt, all of the hurt! Wow, we serve an awesome God!!

"I will praise you in the storm and I will lift my hands, for you are who are no matter where are am. And every tear I've cried you hold in your hand. You never let me go..."

Fall

This fall school year started a few weeks back. I always look forward to this time of year. I love all of the leaves changing, the crisp air, the anticipation of Christmas! I mean what is there not to like about fall?!?

This past week has been so exhausting, but so good. God even through difficult circumstances has granted me such peace. My brother Levi was diagnosed with Chron's disease two weeks ago and since has been in and out of the hospital very sick. It is so hard to see someone you love go through such pain. He has been so positive. It will be nice to figure out what all of this will entail for his future. Please keep him in your prayers!

In my business it has been hard for me to find time alone with the Lord, but I praise the Lord that He is so faithful even when we aren't! He has been teaching me to look to him through all of life's confusing circumstances. It's so easy to look at the things you are facing day to day and get overwhelmed with life's decisions. God keeps showing me though, if i keep my eyes fixed on him,all these other things will fall into place!!!

Two girls in the hood...

So Andrea called me the other night and she was in need of a new car (hers was totaled and she received insurance money to purchase a new one) by the weekend. So I told her of my mechanic friend who had two cars he was selling and she thought she should check them out. Since I knew the mechanic and knew what it was like to try finding a car by myself, I offered to go with her. So here we are, downtown Mpls, in the ghetto(my hometown ya!) at night, two girls, making decisions regarding which car she should buy.(is anyone laughing yet?) It was quite an experience let me tell you! I don’t think either of us will ever forget it. Sometimes you just got to do what you got to do…
Girlfriends Rock!!